Summer's End (go back »)

I feel so confused.

Everyone's telling me to slow down, take my time, pace myself.

When did I become a fast-living person? When do you realise that you're ahead of everyone and still failing?

Is it when you're at the end, watching everyone catch up? Or afterwards, when you're regretting wasting your time on something that should have fun.

But I can't wait, I want to play now. I don't want to worry about the future, but I do. I can't help but look into my future and wonder whether I'm ever going to get a good job, a good partner, a good life. What I need is a good present.

I'm impatient, I know that. I know there'll be days where I'm staring out of the window, waiting for things to speed up like a rollarcoaster.

I feel like I'm losing touch, with friends, family, the world reality, everything! I feel like I don't understand what I'm doing, or what I'm going to do, or how I'm going to do it. I need help, but I am too proud to ask for it. Will other look down on me because I ask for help when I feel that I should do things on my own. Others manage without help, so why do I need it?

I'm confused. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm happy. I don't know! I feel like I know nothing and that I'm just being stupid. But there is one thing I know.

I'm glad that I feel something.